2020 brought us new words like “Micro-Wedding” and “Mini-Wedding.” Words that many of us in the industry wasn’t quite expecting to #trend so much. Many weddings in the Fall of 2020 started to evolve into a Plan B, C, or D. Many of my own 2020 couples postponed their own celebration to a future date while others still went through with their day but the “abridged version” if you will. After supporting my couples this last year and capturing their day, one thing became very clear to me. Having a planner on your side to coordinate not only the logistics of the day, but also the months leading up to it and when things do not go as planned was KEY in making the stress level of wedding planning go WAY down.
I sat down with Melissa Brown of SBM Event and Co and picked her brain on planning a wedding during a pandemic. She had so many great things to say and I just had to share. Don’t hesitate to reach out to her for all things wedding planning!
When planning a micro-wedding, what are the top 3 things a couple needs to do in advance to ensure their guests’ safety?
First, my best advice is to lean on your wedding vendors for guidance. If you’re working with a planner, they will be in touch with your venues and vendors to find out their restrictions, and they should ask to be updated if there are any changes. We are all professionals at what we do, and we’re looking out for you to make sure that you have a beautiful day, but we also want to be mindful that people need to be kept safe.
Second, be flexible. I know that can be hard, especially if you’ve already had to redesign the wedding you wanted. However, the safety of the people who love you should be put first. If you keep that forefront in your mind, making decisions is much easier!
Thirdly, be very explicit with people about what you expect. If you have an indoor wedding and your venue (and you) require masks, let your guests know that masks will be required for the wedding. Don’t sugar coat it or make it optional. If there are parts of the day that you may not require it (such as an outdoor wedding reception), then let them know that too.
What are some ideas for weather back up options for an outdoor wedding?
The answer to this is totally going to depend on where the wedding is being held. I will tell you this, though; any planner worth their salt will discuss the “plan B” scenario with you well before the wedding and be able to put that plan in motion for you.
Some locations have indoor options that we can take advantage of, or if that’s not available, then tenting the location can be an option. Here’s the part that’s important: these decisions can not be made on the fly. If there is poor weather forecast for your wedding and changes need to be made, your vendors need to have enough time to make those changes from moving items to protecting their valuable gear.
For that reason, we usually pick a “cut off time” when plan B has to be implemented. For example, if it’s an area that needs to be tented and the rental company has told us they need 24 hours, we may have to make the call a few days before. With a venue, that time frame could be much shorter, as much as a few hours.
What happens if a vendor gets sick the day before the wedding?
If you’re working with a professional wedding vendor, that should be in their contract and discussed with you before you ever hire them. We don’t miss weddings unless circumstances are dire. Ask anyone in the wedding industry!
With COVID, it’s changed the game a bit, but even so, your professional should have a plan in place for backup if they are too ill or could be contagious.
How do I disinvite a guest that received a Save the Date?
Oh, this one is tough. But you know what? We’ve been living with this pandemic for almost a year now. People get it. We’ve all had to make some really tough decisions this past year, and in general, wedding couples are reporting that people have been very gracious about changes.
Here is a “swipe file” that you can use to let guests know your plans have changed.
“Due to the ongoing pandemic, we have had to reduce our guest list dramatically to adhere to mandated numbers of people gathering so our wedding can go on.
We are so sorry to have to do this, but at this point, we have to cancel the invitation to our __________ wedding.
We hope that you understand that this is a drastic measure we never expected to have to make. We love every single person we invited to our wedding, and this is heartbreaking for us.
Please hold us in your hearts on _________ as we take our vows to each other. This is not how we envisioned entering married life, but we are doing so with an even greater appreciation of life and love.
We are working on having a reception at a later date when the crisis has passed. Things are so uncertain that we don’t have a firm date, but we will be in touch when we know more. (Or, we have rescheduled the event to _______________ and we hope to celebrate with you then).
Be well, be safe, and hug your loved ones at home tight. We all need each other right now.”
To help them feel included you can send this letter along with a “celebration box”. This could include some yummy treats, mini confetti cannon, a log on to a virtual ceremony, a mini wedding cake, or anything else that speaks to you as a couple and let’s your guests know that you are still thinking of them.
Do you have any words of encouragement for someone planning a micro-wedding during this crazy time?
Anyone who has been married can back me up on this: a wedding is a party, but a marriage is a commitment.
The commitment is what is important. The party can come at another time. If there’s anything this pandemic has taught us, friends and family cannot be replaced. Put that at the front of your mind, and everything else fades into the background.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t be disappointed. I’ve had my share of a few glasses of wine and a cry for all we’ve all had to go through. Go ahead and cry and get it all out. Then, dry your tears and plan that commitment to marry your person. Your friends and family will be there when it’s time to celebrate together; in fact, they can’t wait!
Thanks again to Melissa at SBM Event and Co for all the tips!
