Should we have a first look – or not? Is a question many of my couples have asked me, and if you’ve talked to anybody about whether or not you should have a first look, you’ve probably heard a lot of conflicting opinions.
Some will certainly be fans of sticking to tradition and having the first moment your partner sees you be during your ceremony, while others will tell you that you definitely can’t skip a first look with your partner.
As a New York wedding photographer, I personally am pro first look, as many of my couples who have one are happy that they did, and they love that they added this special moment to their celebration. With that being said, regardless of what anyone tells you, I want to remind you that this choice is completely up to you and your partner – do whatever feels authentic to you and your partner.
Keep reading to learn all about the pros and cons of having a first look!
First Look vs No First Look: Which Is Right for Your Wedding Day?
Let’s dive into the pros and cons of having a first look:
What are the pros of a first look?
You get intimate time with your partner
By having a first look, you’ll actually get the chance to not only see your partner but also speak with them, and it’s a chance for you both to loosen up, relax, and calm your nerves.
You might be thinking that you won’t get anxious on the day of your wedding, but likely, either you or your partner will be a bundle of nerves the day of, after all, this is a huge, life-altering event; understandably, you might have some butterflies in your stomach.
However, a first look really diminishes those nerves so that by the time the ceremony rolls around, you’ll both be feeling much calmer.
Also, as much as you won’t want it to be, your wedding day is going to pass in a blur, and this is a moment that you’ll be able to carve out intentional time to be together, just the two of you, before your guests arrive and you will be pulled in different directions. You can also choose to add more to your first look, whether that’s a private vow reading, exchanging gifts, or even spending time taking couple portraits prior to your ceremony.
A chance to show your emotions
A first look is a private chance to show your emotions and express your sentiments without having a large audience. It’s a magical moment you can both share and be your most authentic and genuine selves with each other.
During a first look, there’s no performance to put on with just the two of you, and there are no distractions to pull you away.
A more relaxed timeline
One of the huge benefits of having a first look is getting to have a more relaxed timeline on the day of your celebration. Adding in a first look means that you and your partner can take more portraits together before your ceremony, and after your first look, you can take your wedding party (both individuals and all together) and family portraits.
This also means that right after your ceremony, you can head directly to your cocktail hour to be fully present with your guests.
What are the cons of a first look?
You won’t be sticking to tradition
A first look isn’t traditional, so if you already know that you want everything about your wedding to abide by certain traditions, then a first look likely isn’t going to feel like the right fit. A first look means that you won’t have the “big reveal experience” at your ceremony.
Your partner seeing you for the first time during your ceremony is very special, beautiful, and emotional, and all your family and friends will be there to share in the moment.
You’ll have to start getting ready earlier in the day
While a first look allows for flexibility later in your wedding day, you’ll likely have to start getting ready earlier than you would if you weren’t having one, at least by a couple of hours.
My Personal Experience as a Wedding Photographer With Choosing Whether or Not to Do a First Look
If you’re still undecided about whether to have a first look, I wanted to share a little insight into my personal experience, as I was also conflicted about whether to have one or not.
I was actually the bride who didn’t want to see my husband until I walked down the aisle, and we didn’t have one. At the time, I didn’t understand WHY people did a first look. (We got married 15 years ago)!
However, all of that changed when I became a wedding photographer, and since then, I’ve had the chance to photograph many heartfelt and emotional first looks between couples. Now, I love when couples choose to do first looks, but with that being said, I’ll of course support you no matter which option you choose because it is your day..
The reason I now adore photographing first looks so much is because it’s a moment that is fleeting and unrepeatable – this is a part of your day that I know you’ll hold onto and yearn to return to again and again. It is also a rare chance to simply pause and be present with just your partner.
From experience, I can say that this special moment between just you and your partner is truly one of the most genuine and beautiful of your entire wedding. Just know that if you do choose to have a first look, you definitely won’t regret having one.
First Look vs No First Look – Know Which One You’ll Choose?
I hope you found all this info on choosing to do a first look or not helpful, and that it brought you more clarity on your decision. Remember, there’s no right or wrong choice when it comes to choosing to add a first look to your wedding. At the end of the day, it’s a meaningful personal choice that you and your partner will make together, and I’ll support you with whatever you choose.
And…if you are still looking for the perfect wedding photographer in New York to photograph your celebration, I’d love to connect. Your story is one-of-a-kind, and my mission is to preserve it with care, authenticity, and intention. You can click the link here to check out my wedding photography services or get in touch here!
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